Have you ever felt that your life is a juggling act? Maybe you're trying to live up to expectations that aren't AUTHENTIC to who YOU are.
According to Cecile Andrews, author of 'The Circle of Simplicity', "People in this culture aren't having fun". I've certainly seen this phenomenon in my life coaching practice and in my own life. We too often look for quantity rather than quality...and in the process, we have evolved into a society that doesn't know how to slow down and LIVE.
When you wake up in the morning, do you smile and hum a happy tune? Or do you wonder how in the world you're going to get everything done that should get done today? Does life feel like an exciting adventure, or do you dream of a magical "someday" when your real life will begin, and you'll finally be able to do the things you love?
What I do is help people create a life that really matters. Let me share a client's story with you (all names and identifying details have been altered to protect his privacy). Steven had been an accountant since he got his MBA in 1978. He always worked hard and became the youngest member of his firm ever to make partner. Steven is also a father and an avid pianist and bass player. In his heart, he would much rather spend his time chauffeuring his two pre-teen boys to their activities and making music than preparing tax returns. When I asked Steven how he spends his free time, he just laughed and said, "I don't even remember what free time is any more! Doc, I'm successful, but I'm just not happy."
It was clearly time to make a change. I asked Steven to make a long list of what was important to him. He took a week to work on this list. I also had Steven write a mock acceptance speech for an award that would be bestowed upon him IF HE WERE LIVING IN HARMONY WITH HIS CORE VALUES. Although his job as an accountant was on his list of important accomplishments, Steven placed this well towards the end of his speech.
Steven's top two values turned out to be spending time with his family and contributing to his community. He was actually surprised when he found himself musing about going to church with his wife Liz and the boys. With two young children to educate, money was important, but it didn't rank as highly as he had assumed it would.
Steven asked Liz to make a list of her core values too. The two of them then sat down with their lists and had a series of serious conversations in which they decided together that outside of tax season, Steven would cut his work week back to just enough time for him to keep his benefits. They also decided that the boys were old enough for Liz to take a part time job. She had been a successful math teacher after college and decided to consult with their local middle school to tutor gifted students in math and science. Her pay would make up enough of Steven's loss in salary for the family to continue to pay bills and put a little money into a college fund for the boys each month. The family committed to going to church together at least once a month. They also chose as a family to devote a couple of hours a month to visiting a local retirement home, where Steven plays the piano for the residents while Liz and the boys visit. To save on food expenses, Steven and Liz now enjoy their new hobby...cooking gourmet food at home...rather than going out to eat as often as they once did, and the boys pitch in with chores so the family can save some money by not hiring a weekly housekeeper and gardener.
The full transition took about two years, but both Steven and Liz agree that, despite having less money, they are much happier. They have also noticed that the boys, now ages eleven and fourteen, are doing better in school, have become much more eager to help out at home, and enjoy doing community service projects.
Here is a Coaching exercise that you can do to explore YOUR AUTHENTIC core values. Take stock of your life. Set aside some time (about fifteen minutes should do), and write down ten things that you value. Examples may be: challenging work, family, friends, nature, money, etc. When your list is done, put a number from 1 to 10 next to each item to rank each one in importance to you. Next, put down a number from 1 to 100 next to each item to show what percentage of your time is devoted to each one. Are you allotting your time in a way you really value? What would it mean for you to live in accordance with your authentic core values?
More and more often, people are recognizing that their merry-go-round lifestyle is out of sync with who they really are inside. You can join this revolution today if you're ready to be authentic.
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