The Keys to Successful Living

Success is a concept that brings with it all kinds of associations. Money, career success, fame, these and a dozen other factors in one way or another to our working definition of success. But at the end of the day there is one aspect of the success that combines carries more weight than all of them. If your Creator asks you how you are on the ground, he or she will ask about your relationships, not your bank account. If you wonderful family relationships, you hadcan call themselves a true success in life, no matter what you have achieved.

Marilee My wife and I have been married for 34 years. Notice I did not say "happily" married for 34 years. The truth is, there were many years when at least one of us was not very happy with the other book. But miraculously, we have it through, and now I can honestly say I've never been happier with our relationship. I see my 55-year-old woman, as the finest, most beautiful, sexy woman Iknow. It is also my best friend.

At the same time on these 34 years, we've seen around half of the couples we know, get divorced, while another significant proportion live in what Thoreau might call "silent disaster."

What are the secrets of your most important life relationship healthy and successful? Of course, the specific features vary from one situation to another. But I think you'll that the solution can be detected by testing for almost every relationship challenge to findTheir actions in two areas: commitment and communication.

Commitment

How committed are you? It is a remarkable difference between a commitment of 99% and 100%.

First and foremost, you must have your Significant Other top priorities will be disciplined in your life. Relationships that "it" remained a top priority of both the parties involved.

In its early days, our primary relationship is always a top priority. We are obsessed, as a rule with the otherPerson, ignore their faults and see their idiosyncrasies, how sweet. As time passes, but we are accustomed to our significant other, and we begin to see that they are not nearly as flawless as they once were. At the same time start a hundred different priorities - our jobs, our children, our sports teams - compete for the highest priority items. Over time, it is easy and natural that the relationship to slip way down on our list of priorities without noticing it.

During our 13th Yearof marriage, my relationship with Marilee hit a low point, and I looked at my marriage alternatives. Perhaps because I, the generation that had grown up of me, I never had a divorce a serious thought. But I began to think about how miserable I would be for the rest of my life when things do not change. This was not only an acceptable future, so I decided to experiment with committing 100% to our marriage.

As I'm sure you've noticed in your own life, there is a big differencealso between a commitment of 99% and a% of 100. Once I've found that a total of 100% commitment seemed something magical happens. Subtle changes began to occur. Among them, Marilee began to look prettier, and I naturally began her more compliments. Before I knew it, I was enjoying it more and they naturally react by nicer to me, too. In retrospect, it was as simple as our relationship brings to the position of the highest priority always deserved.

What is your current levelCommitment to your most important relationship? If you can not honestly say it is 100%, try my 100% commitment to try for themselves. Where did your primary relationship will fall on your priority list? If it is not at the top at the moment to experiment with it your number one priority for a while and see what happens.

100% commitment means that all the problems to their solution. And that can sometimes you have to look at challenges in a way you never thought about.For example, my daughter went through a couple of years, Chappell constantly sick and missing a lot of school. I was very judgmental about her, because I could not understand why they could not control their disease. You see, at a point in my youth I decided that I could control my health since I have almost never been sick. So, as far as I was concerned, Chappell should have been able to control their health as I had. It was simply not the application itself.

One day a friend and wiseConfidant said: "Listen, Vic. At this moment, work for Chappell, about the disease, as her life seems to be a problem. Your life is another way, but it is as valid as yours. Let them, their life problems have. " I immediately knew he was right. My life problem, then as now, was managing director Nightingale-Conant. How could I not understand the health Chappell's problem, I realized there were areas of management I have a challenge that saw many of my associates ridiculously simple. With just a littleEffort, I could not stop judging Chappell for being ill. And they better quickly.

My wife, Marilee, is a chronic disease in the last 15 years. Thanks to my experience with Chappell, my friend's advice, and my commitment to our relationship, I might have to be able to be nonjudgmental and supported by her condition when I let it drive me crazy, and drove them crazy in the process.

What is the life issue that you're working on now? It could be a one of a million. It could beCompanies like me or the health and Marilee, weight, shyness, money, fear, fear of one thing or another. Whatever it is, it is as valid as anyone else in the world.

Could you assess other important people in your life that are just on their own life issues? Remember, the solution could be to their lives question seems simple to you, such as the easy solution would be to sell to someone else. As my friend said to me, they should issue their lives. Play with this concept, andYou will find, like I did, that it has a profound effect on your judgments.

The great Earl Nightingale once said that there are two kinds of problems. The first type is solved for good, if a solution is found. The second type is not a final solution. A relationship problem is an example of one, that has no solution.

Today, you can like everything feel great in your relationship. But if you do not continue working if you do not renew your commitment every day, it quickly. crumble A relationship requires constant effort to keep it fresh and alive. You never feel like you have it knocked. I know that will be sometime in the near future, Marilee come up to me, as often in the past, said: "Vic, we need to talk." I now know the code words mean, "Vic, you do something that threatens our relationship, and I need you to listen to me." And when I listen to them and try to listen to their needs, and to them when I can, we will continue our Merry GoWay together.

Communication

Which language do you speak? You may be surprised to know that people speak different "love languages," as different as English and Japanese. Know how to communicate, is essential for happy relationships.

The second element, the living conditions of a balanced life of success and happiness in your relationship is to communicate with your relatives and caregivers improved.

One of the greatest books on the subjectCommunication, the relationship that I will ever go through as "The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Gary is a marriage counselor, and he has discovered that different people have different ways they prefer to the communication of love received from their partners. He calls this communication preferences "love languages."

During his career, has to encapsulate Gary five different languages, the love for all the love communication preferences seems to be found. If you have a love of language to speakand speaks your spouse to another, you can run into severe difficulties and do not even know. In his book, Gary walks through an example, after the couples on the brink of divorce, their relationship will be saved when they discovered and accepted each other's love language. A couple who had not spoken to each other in practice for over 30 years falling in love again and on the way to a second honeymoon ended, thanks to this information.

Gary says that each of us that he is a Calls"emotional love tank." This tank can be filled with loving feelings, or it can be as good as empty. It all depends on whether we do not love the right way to get communication.

The first love language is words of affirmation. With words of affirmation that you are using positive statements, your love for another show, and you need to hear positive messages from others to feel loved.

Verbal compliments and kind words are powerful communicators of love: the thingssuch as: "You really nice evening out," or "You must be the best chef in the world" or "I appreciate you always taking out the garbage." If you personally feel good when you make a compliment, and if it easy for you so other people verbal assurances, this may your primary love language.

The second love language of quality time. This is the feeling emotionally fulfilled when your better half need to give you his full, undivided attention and show off yourLove to someone else in the same way by this person your focused attention.

One way to give someone valuable time, is characterized by a high-quality discussions, where you each share your thoughts, feelings and desires. This does not include advice to give. It is important to listen sympathetically, not interrupt, and then you share from the heart. Just close does not count, either. Quality is currently looking for each other's eyes and reallyCommunication.

Another way to express valuable time is through quality activities: things with your partner that he or she enjoys to show your love. Day trips, gardening, going out to dinner, games, holidays and walks all together have the potential quality activities.

The third love language is Acts of Service - happy things for your partner to make him or her happy. Cooking, table cover, washing, vacuuming the house and washing theCar are examples of acts of service. An act of service required of thought, planning, time, effort and energy. When done with a positive attitude, it is an expression of love. Gary says that the act of service should be requested, not required. Demanding would end up being counterproductive and make you upset your mate to do things for you.

The fourth love language is gifts. Over the centuries, in every culture around the world, people have the love expressed through the issuance ofGifts. Gifts are a physical and visual symbol of love. A wedding ring is an example. Gifts need not be expensive, they can be purchased, found or made. A single flower or a card count. It is the thought and creativity behind the gift that matters. A gift that shows that you remember your partner and took the time and effort to show you something, he or she loves you.

The fifth love language is physical touch. Studies have shown that a child if they are denied physical contact, will die. Foraffect some of us is the strongest indicator that we are loved. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, sexual intercourse, even a hand on the other person, or sit close together when you're watching TV examples of physical contact.

Do you feel you are your primary love language? How about your spouse? If you are not sure what your primary love language yet, here are some questions that will help you figure out which are:

First, what your spouseor do not do that you are deeply hurt? If you are in a sense, the opposite is probably your love language. For example, perhaps your husband does not pick up his clothes and it drives you crazy. This is an indicator that could be your language of acts of service would be.

First, what have you asked the most from your spouse? This probably shows what you most need to feel loved. Finally, how do you usually have to express your love to your spouse? This can be an indication thatwas also the feeling to be loved.

If you have some time to make a list of the five languages of love and rank to them, and ask your partner to do the same. Marilee and I have lots of fun in small dinner was always the people go through this process. It makes for a stimulating conversation. But beyond a game, why it is important to know what is the primary and even secondary language of love for you and your spouse? As I said, like a foreign language could try toYou communicate your love in a way which is perfectly reasonable for you, but not even on the Richter scale and your partner register. And like a new language, it may require some effort on your part to really fluent in your spouse's love language.

True, lasting emotional love is a choice. When the communication is not coming your spouse's love language, of course, okay. Making the effort to learn the language, shows a greater expression of your love. Remember, love is somethingDo not for someone else, not something for yourself. If you really love someone, you are ready to learn the effort as you show your love for your partner in ways that are recognized and have a purpose to make him or her. You can not do it easily or naturally to. But if you make the effort, your partner's love tank will be filled, and he or she will be more willing to work to sell the occupation. They will be on your way to a healthy, prosperous, successful relationship and ultimately a trulysuccessful life.

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